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The Very Proper Gander — James Thurber rewritten

Once upon a time there was a very proper gander, who thought he was the most brilliant and most proper gander ever born. So he told his wife and his seven children, and when they stopped listening, he walked around his backyard, singing for himself … I am the proper gander, and I will become the president of my beautiful country. And I will reset the economy of this country, of course, and make my country great again.